Denial
by LathielStormblade
Summary: Sam was just bored after a hunt trail had gone cold. But he hadn't wanted this, not even in the slightest. Unfortunately, Dean just didn't know when to back off... Crack!fic, T for mentioned body parts. Destiel and Sabriel shipping. One-shot.


It was a rainy day as the Winchester brothers lazed around their motel room. They'd been hunting a shape-shifter, but now the trail had gone cold. Sam was on his laptop doing research when Dean, who was laying face first on a bed, moaned suddenly," Pie,"

Samuel looked up from the bright screen. "What?"

Dean turned onto his back lazily. "I - need - pie."

Sam rolled his eyes. "You've already had, like, ten, Dean. I don't think you need more pie."

At this, the older hunter shot up straight. "You don't understand, Sammy: I _need_ pie. Like I need air."

"You really should try having a salad once and a while," Sam muttered, shaking his head and going back to the computer.

Dean came and put his hands on the desk, fingers splayed out. "_I. Need. Pie._" he said firmly. "Like I need sex and booze." - Sam rolled his eyes again - "And Cas."

This caught Sammy's attention. "Cas?" he questioned.

Dean didn't seem to notice this. Instead he was replaying Sam's words: "No rabbit food for me," He paced to the fridge and looked inside, obviously hoping a pie had magically appeared in it.

"Forget that, Dean! _Cas_?"

"What about Cas?"

"I mean," Sam began; "I knew you two had a thing for each other, but I didn't think you'd own up to it."

"Wait," Once again, the elder jerked around. "Cas has a thing for me?"

Sam couldn't keep the "_really?_" look off his face. "With the amount he eye rapes you? Yeah, he has a thing for you."

Dean shrugged. "I never noticed it before." the other hunter commented, closing the refrigerator and wandering over to his brother again.

The same disbelieving look appeared on Samuel's face again." I just- how? How could you never notice it?"

Choosing not to answer this, Dean leaned over to Sam and whispered, "Just so you know, Gabriel does it to you, too." He winked like he had just told his little brother the best secret in the world.

Sam's brow furrowed. "Gabriel? No way!"

"Yeah," Dean gave another wink. "Gabe likes ya."

Sam studied him for a moment longer then, deciding that this was a joke, he said, "Hahah, very funny. You know, just because he's a Trickster doesn't mean you have to make jokes about him."

Dean looked incredibly surprised. "Dude, I'm serious."

"When are you ever serious?"

"Right now!" Dean couldn't help hitting his fist on the table out of frustration. "There's a reason he don't meet your eyes, Sammy. He's got other places to look..."

The younger Winchester rolled his eyes again. "Gabriel doesn't like me. It's just your imagination."

"Gabriel likes you," he persisted. "Like Cas likes me. Just ask any of the angels."

"Could we just stop talking about this?"

"Why? Scared?"

Sam scoffed. "I'm straight, and you know it."

"You thought I was straight for our entire lives," Dean pointed out, a note of triumph in his voice. "Then Castiel came along and I was like, 'Oh, crap. I'm straight as a freaking circle.'"

"Yeah, that's _you_, Dean. Not me. I don't have a thing for Gabriel." Sam stared intently at his monitor in hopes Dean would drop the subject. Unfortunately, siblings rarely do. Dean leaned in and whispered, "The first step is denial."

"Shut up!" Sam snapped. "I don't like Gabriel. Even if he is short, and cute, and - _NO, I'M NOT GAY!"_ He yelled more to himself than Dean.

"Ha!" the victory entered Dean's tone again. "You called him cute!"

"I did not!"

"Yeah you did!"

"SHUT_ UP_!" Samuel screamed again.

"IMMA GO CALL HIM!" Dean ran out of the room yelling over his shoulder, "MY BABY BRO'S GONNA GET HIS ANGEL BOY! WHOOP WHOOP!"

Sam went into the bathroom, leaving the door open behind him as he splashed cold water on his face. He looked at the mirror and said to himself, "Women, women, women, women,"

Dean, of course, rushed in and cradled his little brother's face, which was a little comical since Sam was so much taller than him. "Shhhhhh," he whispered. "Just accept the gay thoughts."

Sam hit Dean off him. "NO!"

"You can't run from them, Sammy." He called.

Sam just looked at the mirror again. "Boobs," he muttered. And it seemed to work; he stopped thinking about a certain archangel and started thinking about all the women he'd ever dated.

Dean, though, was just as unwavering in his attempts. "Dicks," he shouted from the other room.

"Be quiet!" Samuel yelled back.

"Accept it!"

"NO!" he looked back at the mirror, his breath coming in hard bursts. "Vaginas."

"Balls! Stubbly chins! Trickster smirks!" Dean was obviously enjoying this too much.

Sam rubbed more water on his face. "Jessica, Sarah, Madison..."

"Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel."

"Shut up!" screeched Sam. Dean gave him a self-pleased grin as he said, "Just accept it, Sam."

"Be quiet!" Sam commanded again. He closed his eyes and said, "Girls, girls, girls, girls-"

"Dudes, dues, dudes, dudes." Dean interrupted.

"Shut up, shut up,_ shut up_!"

The elder Winchester wrapped him in a hug. "Just face it, Sammy." he whispered to his brother. "You're a homosexual. Like_ me_."

"I. Am. _Not_. Gay!" Sam shouted, pushing Dean off him.

"YES YOU ARE! Quit running from the truth, Sam, or it's gonna come back and bite you!"

Sammy's breath started to come heavily again. "If you say I'm gay one more time - just one more time - I swear I will beat the living crap out of you." His deadly serious tone got Dean's attention. He put his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay." Suddenly Dean's grin appeared again. "But, come on, be honest - you've been thinking about Gabriel this whole time, haven't you?"

Sam glared at Dean. "No." he lied shortly, grabbing his coat and storming out. Behind him, Dean smirked like a madman.


End file.
